Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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