I just pynch a tree in the face
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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