So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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