The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was like eating out sand paper
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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