turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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