Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
