As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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