You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
