i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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