i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
