Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
