You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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