I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize