You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
