he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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