i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
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Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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