did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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