I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
