I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
