So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
