There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize