Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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