oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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