Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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