the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize