after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Boobs are out for the taking
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
