idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
