Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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