either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
MIDGETS
????
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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