Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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