God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He shit in the fireplace
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
