Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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