Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize
