Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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