I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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