yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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