Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
