Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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