i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He did a backflip because drugs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
