please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
