I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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