So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
