Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
