Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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