it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
