whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
