My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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