You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
