Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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