She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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