Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
