mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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