haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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