I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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