i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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