Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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