I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
