Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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