is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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