How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
